A.A.A.D.D.

 

Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

It hasn't rained in days, and I really need
to get going and water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch
steps that I brought up from the mail box earlier before
I decided to water the garden.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car,
so I turn off the hose, and bring the mail inside.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail
in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I put the bills back on the table
and decide to take out the garbage first
because, come to think of it, everyone
else has their trash cans out at the curb
since today is trash day.

But then, since I'm going to be near the
mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go back to the study and desk where
I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to move the Diet Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Diet Coke is getting warm, and I obviously
need to put it in back in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye.
They need water.  Just like the garden.

I put the Diet Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that I've
been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
in the study, but I need to water the flowers

I set my glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water,
And suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I know that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table.
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but I manage to spill quite a bit of it on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
grab some paper towels, wipe up the spill,

and toss them in the trash can under the counter
making a mental note that I'll need to empty
that trash can before trash day.

Which reminds me of ...  something.
But I'm not sure what.
Then, I wander down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
I'm not sure where the rest of the mail is,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of Diet Coke
sitting on the counter,

The flowers don't have enough water,
The trash cans are still full,
There is still only 1 check in my checkbook,
I can't find the TV remote,
I can't find my reading glasses,
I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
And the garden is still dry.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but
First I'll check my e-mail, and probably forward
Some of the better ones to my email buddies.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,
your day is coming!

 



agape